Hi, how are you?
"Levitated Mass" @ LACMA. March 2020
“How Are You?”
Probably the most mundane phrase you say or answer to every day.
I actually find immense joy in searching for an answer to this repetitive question. It’s a cathartic release and encourages me to recall the little episodes of my day, those moments that sum up to a positive "great!” response.
A lot of seemingly insignificant things bring me joy - the sound of school children herded onto school buses; an available seat on a crowded subway; the funny stories I hear on podcasts on my way to work; a wet $5 bill inside a washer that my neighbors left behind…
But I hadn’t realized a lot of my joyous moments involve others and my interactions with them.
With the coronavirus pandemic turning our worlds upside down, I, like many others, have been adhering to stay at home orders and practicing social distancing. For the foreseeable future I will not be having my daily doses of human-to-human interactions, and I start to sense myself getting increasingly anxious within the familiar surrounding of my own apartment. It looks like not all prisons have bars.
Now I really have to ask myself, how am I doing?
We are, biologically, a highly social species. Our brains are capable of forming and maintaining relationships, and our relationships have largely shaped who we are as humans. We are, by definition, the sum of all of our relationships - not just the sheer quantity, but the quality of them. There is no doubt that this isolation has reduced the quantity of my physical exchanges, but am I sacrificing the quality of my relationships too? Can I maintain the same level of togetherness on an 11-inch monitor and tiny squares on a screen? How is all of this affecting me?
As you settle into this new normal, don’t forget that we are still in need of connectivity and meaningful relationships. We have to form new habits of connecting to our loved ones. Seek out to connect and bond, just like you had before. Ask yourself how you’re doing, mentally, emotionally and physically, and extend this question to those you care for. Because not only are you caring for them, you’re also taking care of yourself.
And with that - hi, how are you doing today?
“Fire can warm or consume, water can quench or drown, wind can caress or cut. And so it is with human relationships: we can both create and destroy, nurture and terrorize, traumatize and heal each other.”