Hindsight is 20/20
It’s usually the days after Christmas and before the New Years when we lose all sense of time and place, indulge in excess amounts of foods, and enjoy being our unproductive selves. As much as I want to hit fast forward since it feels like I have been doing just that for the majority of 2020, I should give myself a chance to reflect on the world’s seemingly longest year.
I started the new year with my usual list of New Years Resolutions - fitness goals, reading lists, travel plans, professional milestones… and one very important personal goal - to write down one thing I am grateful for every day. The beginning of the year, which felt like a lifetime ago, did mark a lot of memorable milestones. I started learning silks, I went to Switzerland and paragliding for my my big 30, I went on concerts and shows and made plans for wonderful trips and experiences for the remainder of the year…
When things took a deep U turn in March, I could have abandoned all of the resolutions. Because, let’s face it - there wasn’t any shortages of excuses available to everybody. It did take me a little bit to adapt to the new way of things, but I am glad this change served as the forceful push out of my comfort zone, and helped me grow a little. For that, I am grateful for 2020.
Finding Joy in the Little Things
One thing I was very thankful for this year was that I managed keep up the habit of writing down one thing I am grateful for every single day. I downloaded the grateful app in the beginning of the year, as my friends and I talked about expressing our gratitude more often and making it our resolutions. Despite this being one of the most difficult year I’ve been through, it was surprisingly easy to make an entry if you set your timeframe to a single day. On the high days, it’s always a breeze to think of something to write down (and more often than not you’ll find more than one thing in a day to be thankful for). But on the low days, I realize it’s the little things that mattered. I would jot down the littlest of details - the near misses, the small wins, even a youtube clip that made me laugh and helped me get through the day. I distinctly remember a few unfortunate days this year where there was absolutely nothing encouraging that happened that day. There were days defined by bad news. There were days where I was more angry and sad than calm and collected. I looked hard for any tiny cheerful moments, no matter how small. If I absolutely can’t come up with something, I would write one forward looking statement on the gratitude journal and remind myself, there is always a better tomorrow.
“Too much joy, I swear, is lost in our desperation to keep it.”
“有一種才華洋溢，叫樂觀不強求。”
Celebrate the Small Wins
This is something I learned (and am continuing to work on) from watching Om & The City’s video. We lived in a society that rewards productivity, and I find myself constantly trying to keep up with my own to do lists and sometimes feeling drained when things go unaccomplished or not as planned. Not every day has to be a milestone, as long as you’re moving towards your goal, a little bit at a time. I decided to give myself a little bit more breathing room, and cut myself some slack when I deserve them.
“People always think that happiness is a faraway thing, something complicated and hard to get. Yet, what little things can make it up; a place of shelter when it rains - a cup of strong hot coffee when you’re blue; for a man, a cigarette for contentment; a book to read when you’re alone - just to be with someone you love. Those things make happiness.”
Let go of what doesn’t serve you
I’ve always loved the intention setting part of yoga. You focus your mind on an intention, and let go of anything that doesn’t serve you. It’s much easier to do for an hour of yoga practice than trying to do the same for… well, life. This year has definitely helped me focus more on this mindset as I have spent more time alone than ever. I turned off all the unnecessary distractions and notifications, limit my social media usage, and focused my time and energy on what matters to me the most at any given moment. I spent more time coming to terms with my insecurities, and reflected on the need to feel validated. Not to dismiss any negative emotions that come across, but to ask myself why and learning to cope with them.
Jules from Om & the City said it best in her blog: If it’s heavy, you can put it down.
“Not knowing is a good place to start.”
“Man, life’s going to keep pushing you around, but you have to keep playing.”